Just cut him out of your life!! The heartache can run very deep, even making it difficult to focus on other important things in life such as work or hobbies. Any past boyfriends....I DO NOT CARE. I wrote some of my own thoughts on where I’m at in OUR situation this past week on my site, would love your feedback. Susan. There are no other explanations why an ex would withhold your belongings from you. I’m moving on with my life and you should do … Now I’m not saying it’s easy or even that you want to. Does my ex boyfriend not care about me and everything we had together anymore? 4 years ago . Show Printable Version; Email this Page… 01-30-2011, 04:32 PM #1. confused24. And speaking of the ex-wife, I kicked her out of my head a long time ago. She’s not attracted to you yet. Thanks. Some days I question if the misery it puts me through is even worth it. hello kate my ex tried to reach me out again days after i wrote here through our common friend on fb mssgnr(i wasn’t even read your reply yet). The truth is, the EX is yesterday’s news. He could barely care enough for me after 9 months, does he care about any of these girls and if he isnt 'ready for a serious commitment' as he told me why is he trying to meet any girl (by the way, some are NOT pretty at all)? Whether your ex left you or you left your ex, it is highly possible that they still love you. When you ask the question, “why do you care about the ex?” there are many, many answers, and not all of them within our control. Copyright 2017 Stepcoupling.com. × Let’s find out! The only reason they care about staying connected with your friends is because these are the middlemen when it comes to talking to you or finding out things about you (that they can’t ask you). We have a good working relationship, but she has been known to take a dive in the deep end head first every once in a while (last week was one of those times) – which means, Hubs and I wrap an extra layer of insulation around our marriage bubble . And, I liked the comments about compassion. For instance, it’s common for an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend to reenter your life in order to try to rekindle the loving connection that you once shared with one another. Public displays of affection are good for children to see. If I don't miss my ex, then why do I care that he has a new girlfriend? The kids pick up on it and feel torn, confused and angry. It is. His perception is it’s not working, and anything you say isn’t going to change his mind. Thread Tools. I think a good number of women who have problems with the ex have those problems due in large part to their husbands. He asked me if we can be friends because he doesn’t want to lose me. Because your ex is pretending to be over you and doesn’t want to move on; And that’s it. If he talks with his ex before getting your feelings, opinions, thoughts etc, she’s in the loop …and you’re not. However, if it impedes you from moving on, then give it more time. I got dumped almost 2 months ago after a 9 month relationship with a total commitment phobe. That is the reality and it is pointless to get in a power struggle with Reality. Stepmoms tend to demonize the ex to feel better about themselves. The stronger the stepcouple, the more support and love they have to raise his, hers and their children. As for Wednesday’s point about the intrusive and uncooperative ex-wife…no easy solutions but I have found that no one has power unless we give it to them. Breakup Advice: Why Do I Care What My Ex is Doing? Your link has been automatically embedded. Great job of boundary setting and prioritizing your attention and focus. Wonderful piece Susan and a great reminder to us that we didn’t marry our husbands so we could inherit an instant family; we married them because we loved them and they happened to come with some baggage! Love this and agree, let’s stick to our own marriage. Bye means bye. He Maintains Non-Essential Contact . And she is the psycho type…breaking into our home, cutting up my things, texting and calling my husband constantly, telling her sons lies about me when she doesn’t even know me, stopping by our home unexpected on holidays, etc. It takes you off guard, it trips you up, it is a regressive experience from a relational point of view. You may not want to, but really leaning in and feeling your emotions is integral to letting go of an ex. For the first 2 years of our relationship, I turned my head the other direction. My question is, why does it bother me he is after so many girls? If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Well he did NOT like that email at all. If that’s the case, the ex is a DISTANCER and DISTRACTOR in your stepcouple relationship. You are wise to point out that space needs to be given to one’s husband and their ex-spouse so that they can communicate clearly about the needs and parenting of their children. All rights reserved. If your ex finds you in person or texts you to let you know they still care, they probably do. Then, last week, one of my friends told me that my cheating ex-boyfriend is having a baby with his new girlfriend and she’s already six months pregnant (it was unplanned, apparently). Through actions, words, and displays of affection, we’ve created a bubble around our marriage. Some are unreliable, drug and alcohol affected, angry, and unfulfilled people. So, it’s not really worth my time to fume and stew about her actions and choices. I really do think the issues are different when we get into this decade, or at least they take a slightly different slant. Oh I agree with your advice – I think the point I was trying to make is that putting all the blame for “caring about the ex” on teh current spouse is not always fair or a good reflection on reality. Why do we put up with all the questions that social media dredges up that really we just should not have to know about? The end of a relationship is always a difficult and confusing time in a person's life. It’s an old, out of date relationship!” If there are children involved, there must and needs to be a current relationship. Upload or insert images from URL. That can be a great thing. No new wife or stepmother likes to accept that her partner loved someone else and had a child with HER. He seems to wonder what I’m doing too. This would be true for stepmothers as well. The irony was that he only wanted me to socialize with the mean kids. Luckily, if you feel unconditional love for your ex, that feeling never goes away. Are we examining every move of the ex and not able to move on? Not sure if Ill hear back from him, but dont really care. That way I don’t have to resent her …or you either. Do you find yourselves as a couple colluding in anger against HER (or HIM? January 30, 2011 in Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend Relationships. Good luck. ", then this article can help you. I just deleted him AGAIN from fb and emailed him explaining I just cant be friends. We broke up 6 weeks ago, been no contact for 3. It’s much easier, and it feels much better to be angry at the ex and keep her in a hostile place in your heart. Isn’t it time to move on? Maybe when we’re hurt, we all turn to the same vice. Some of them really move on without a glance to us, some of them don't. Have cell-free hours during the week when you don’t have the kids, even if you’re home. Hi. Your previous content has been restored. This includes those who go to all measures to make you miserable, ie feckless law suits, abusive phone calls, lies, etc I have to agree that it’s impossible to not let this get to you and drive you crazy. Though I will run into him so will prob be awkward and weird again. One time he asked me if I am talking to someone else. NC again. He/She Shows Up At Places When You're There. Kim is right – None of us are MATURE AND GROWN UP when we’re feeling badly. Its been okay. Children do feel more secure when they know that their parents are happy and in a good and solid relationship. See if that works. I know I will run into him and I told him I wouldnt make anyone uncomfortable when that does happen. You don't need to show your ex anything. Long Long story short, i was with my ex for 2.5 years. Thanks Joy for clarifying this, Joy. He is my Prince Charming!” she will instead be thinking something like, “He doesn’t get it. the stress has been overwhelming. No one has the exclusive rights to Crazy! Susan, I love the emphasis you put on the marital relationship in this piece. He is a guy, we think with our penis', of course he is going to try to attract women in his life. And he stopped insisting on it. […] read a post by Susan Wisdom called “Why Do You Care About the Ex?” which addresses the reasons why some StepMoms focus on the BioMom. So the answer to the question, “Why do you Care About the Ex” is “because HE still cares about her.” That’s the piece that doesn’t feel good. Hes on dating sites, adult sites and adding all these girls on fb. Wednesday Martin» Blog Archive » Love, Lust, Sex, Power, Romance: Is There a Third Partner in Your Marriage? !… and ignore, dismiss, and/or deal with what they don’t like about the EX. Susan. Thanks for this much-needed perspective, Susan. Congratulations and thanks for sharing with others. Thanks for your perspective. No one benefits. She is getting on with the break up alot easier, she ended it while i still wanted to work things out. Let her be and spend good energy on relationships that count – your partner and the kids in your life, step or otherwise. For example: When a guy is interacting with his ex, she might say something like, “I know you still care about me, but I really don’t have feelings for you anymore. Hi Elizabeth – January 26, 2010. Susan Wisdom And when you look at your stepkids, do you resent how much they look like and act like HER? But more often than not, the ex-wife is not crazy and not dysfunctional, just as the stepmother is more often than not, not crazy and not dysfunctional. She never cheated but did things behind my back and i stopped trusting her. I think that putting the focus on our own marriages is a great idea…the one thing I would say in rebuttal is that it is often the husband who brings the ex-wife into the current relationship. So I just wanted to point that out. Being a strong marital team will help take care of this kind of ex-wife. My husband and I are our own base camp – support, unity, mutual trust, friendship, and love – we make daily deposits into our marriage relationship. It's just the way it is. Jealousy is never a good thing in a marriage, so trust is critical. The only ex's I care about are my son's father (and his wife) and my 1st ex husband (we have a daughter) and his wife. Feeling second fiddle, they have doubts about the strength of the stepcouple’s love and commitment to each other. I will continue to follow the blogs and read as much as I can because it’s making a huge difference in my personal path to clarity. But finally he realized that this compromise–I’ll be happy with him if he’ll let me avoid them–sort of works. . You are right to point out that some of the ex-wives are not healthy individuals. If not, be honest so that you can both move on once and for all. After awhile, you do start caring about the ex. But when you don’t feel supported by your husband, and you have talked to him over and over about how you feel, it does put a whole new spin on things. Finally, most of the women with stepkids I know and work with know better than to fall into the trap of competing with mom. There are many emotional reasons why this is common and hard to change. Something maybe a bit perverse. To some point the ex is inherently part of ones life when it comes to the children/issues like that, but it’s easy to obsess on this. Tell him, “I don’t want to resent HER, but please talk with me first. Let’s face it, a woman could be THE MOST mature person on the planet and struggle with the dynamics of a stepfamily and being a stepmother. It sounds as if you are NOT completely over him... Go NC until you are and this wont bother you at all. I've to say, it depends on girl's characteristics. The fact is that all stepcouples have to learn to maximize what they have…the partner of their dreams?? Then it becomes an issue between you and your husband. Allow for others’ anger, it’s normal in a stepfamily. He’s such a good guy! Weekly date nights must be sacred. We ALL need it. Many have problems with current life issues and relationships, past and present. Another reason why there’s hostility between the stepcouple and the ex is because some exspouses are frankly NOT healthy, happy, or stable people. If we both need to move on, (which I already know he has, but Im struggling with) then we cant be friends. You don't need sh*t like that! No one can become a wedge between us – not his kids, not my kids, not his ex-wife. Some are afraid of getting out there again, so they keep their former relationship alive as a way of staying involved and not feeling single again," Walfish explains. Please don’t tell me what my ex is doing . It shocked me so much I sort of sat there with my mouth open for about ten minutes before I could even respond. An ex needs compassion for all kinds of reasons and sometimes it’s just because she’s doing the best she can and she may or may not make the best decisions, but that’s life and one moves on. We need and must make our marriages the #1 priority. It’s an old, out of date relationship! What you say is true. I can breathe deeply, choose to not care about her, and decide that she has no impact on my life…but if my HUSBAND doesn’t do the same thing, then it’s futile. 9 Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Might Still Care About You. Hello there, I had experience same like you. Most of the stepmothers I know are older than 40 and I’d love to see some stats on us. That changes the situation, doesn’t it? I repeat WHY DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE EX? This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. One sentence really resonated […]. Stepmothers who do not support the parenting relationship are setting themselves up big time, and they will be the ones to suffer the most when resisting this natural relationship. Display as a link instead, × I learned pretty quickly to ENJOY the fact that if I wasn’t going to be given any authority by the kids’ parents, I didn’t need to take on any responsibility, either. Licensed Professional Counselor Sometimes, a guy might feel so bad about what happened between him and his ex girl that he may think to himself, “I’ll do anything to prove to her that I’m truly sorry for hurting her. He didn’t care if I never saw or had a meal with the ones I got along with! Great ideas coming out here . Babe US. I have learned to let the kids’ mom just be — she is who she is, and I won’t ever be able to change her. Thanks A.J. Make time for the two of you solo. I’m new to the world of stepmom blogs and wish that I had discovered this sooner in my relationship. . I did take exception with this, “The truth is, the EX is yesterday’s news. . Read to the end and you'll find an excellent resource you can use immediately to help you understand every aspect of your man in a way few women will ever know. The only person that you should care about what they think is yourself, if you feel good about yourself and what you're doing then it doesn't matter what people think of you because at the end of the day some people will like you for you and some will not, you're in control of your own internal world so don't let other people take control of the driver seat. I would welcome anyone’s tips–especially an expert like you–about just exactly HOW a woman with stepkids who is dealing with an uncooperative and/or undermining ex-wife can redirect her own focus in order to give energy to the stepcouple rather than the person producing static. He always the one who text me first and sometimes he asks me to hang out with him. But for those who don’t, it sure is a no-win situation. For those women in less dire circumstances, I really recommend that healthy boundaries are helpful to everyone. He’s really trying so hard to please me. You are right to point out that basically we all need to grow up and grow up quickly. Breaking up with your ex can be a very trying time in your life. It's also important, especially for the romantics out there, to realize that just because you and your ex … Excellent reminder. I don’t blame you. Others, who truly loved their ex, can't let go. Fashion See All Fashion . Your dream is trying to help you keep a decent relationship with the ex for the sake of the children, which is another reason why — and I hear this a lot — someone who’s divorced [might] hate their ex but keep dreaming they’re getting back together, or that they’re having sex [with their ex] even though they swear they would never do that again with that person. My BFs ex-wife has been a dysfunctional distraction for almost the entire year that my stepdaughter has lived with us. I love your ideas of what works for you. . ARE we jealous of the ex at this age? Every little thing starts to grate on your nerves and you begin to resent everything. It’s amazing how the stepcouple preys on that negative energy against her. You cannot paste images directly. July 28, 2013 1:40 PM Subscribe. And in some extreme cases, legal action must be taken if the ex-spouse is interfering in ways that are destructive or oppose the agreed upon parenting plan. I agree, we need to focus on the current marriage, the one we are in, not the one our partner left behind. Why Do I Care What My EX is Doing?! My relationship has suffered tremendously, to the point that we are taking a break, but working on dating and trying to mend our relationship. And so, difficult as it is, the best thing is to retreat and wait and live one’s own life. Thanks for sharing! I don't care what my last ex-husband does now because we don't have a child. Again, this is no small task and we all have had our “days” when we needed to back up and regroup and begin again with a different perspective. I am stronger each day and KNOW very well he is not the one for me and has so many issues that are beyond my control. I just have to focus on me and making myself better for the next guy who comes along. For the most part, I have been able to stick to that goal. (could we agree on this one instead of “don’t take things so personally? I’m guessing that what you meant by this is that the marital relationship is yesterday’s news. If you do still care, then you should let him or her know. confused24, Before you decide if and/or how you’d like to engage with an ex who’s returned, it’s important to understand the various reasons why this person may have come back in the first place. Thanks Wednesday. I need to make something clear. It took ten years. It is ever present. Hopefully over time, the heat and anger with the ex will settle down. Maybe he thinks he’s doing the right thing. Mindy Gold. So, now here I go. Sex with your ex can help reveal why you chose to remain apart." While the form of your relationship will change, your care for them will not. I'd take him out of my life quickly, and deal with the loss myself. There are only 2 possible reasons why an ex-boyfriend or an ex-girlfriend would do that: Due to anger and bitterness for a perceived unfair treatment. It is so easy to lose the sense of “us as a couple” in the middle of all the chaos. 1. They also feel inferior because they are not the “real” moms. Why do i still care sooooo much about her? Thanks again for the article–I hope it will help lots of women. And that is 100% right. In my work with remarried couples, almost 100% of the time they come in for help, it’s because there has been so much focus on the kids and the ex-spouses that the marriage relationship is in the tanker. Pasted as rich text. I simply cannot lose him. I guess you are right. Anyone else want to share their successes and coping skills when bad stuff stuff happens? Design by Tamara Alkais Designs. Is he trying to just get some, rebel against the relationship we had? Another possible reason why your ex doesn’t care that you’re truly sorry is… 2. First there’s jealousy. And neat site, I came via Wednesday Martin! Is My Ex Hurting Too: Signs He Is Hurting After The Break Up. If you're currently wondering, "Why does my ex boyfriend keep asking me how I'm doing if he dumped me? My job is to help the stepcouple grow in their partnership in spite of the problems with the ex. I wish my family would quit "stalking" the people that don't matter and then trying to "update" me on them. He’s always getting so emotional over everything that I say or do. http://www.stepcoupling.com/2010/01/why-do-you-care-about-the-ex/comment-page-1/#comment-295, Why Do You Care About The Ex: A Clarification | Stepcoupling, What to Do When the BioMom Declares War « In the Blender. It's simply that after everything, I think about the good times we did have and how he will always have a piece of my heart. I started my marriage with the idea that our relationship would always come first. I went NC though we have talked a little over the last 2 weeks because we have run into each other(have many mutual friends). he wanted to talk and ask permission if he could still pay me a visit in my workplace. He’s just not man enough for me. The stepmothers I know need compassion for all kinds of reasons and most of the time it’s because they’re trying too hard to fit in and find their place within the group. You set a good example for us all. Civil and polite can do the trick and save everyone lots of aggravation. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries are critical when it comes to anyone who is being inappropriate, intrusive or unreasonable. That’s a bitter pill. Paste as plain text instead, × Being a stepmother is one humbling proposition. So cry. If so, can you talk with him about discussing stuff with YOU first and HER SECOND. 11. 2. No one likes to think of their husband with another woman, but the reality is that most of us remarry men with an ex-wife and children. Skin Care Uniquely You Fashion. Thanks everyone for the comments and fresh perspectives. Vacations away with NO children are a must when one can afford them. Wow! When I found myself obsessing, it was actually my “clue” that I was going into peri-menopause. Often such extremely uncooperative and undermining ex wives have some type of undiagnosed disorder (such as borderline personality disorder) in which conflict is almost like oxygen in a fire–it fuels further conflict. Celebrate your marriage with date night. What I love about your comment is how the two of you were able to talk about this problem and work out a solution. when an ex-wife in the picture is hostile, intrusive, angry, and attempting to alienate the kids. Please just leave me alone,” or “It’s over between us. That’s why deciding whether your ex might want you back is a little like reading a foreign language with no translation. I agree with Joy in Reply 16. Give us a break! Susan, Great article – and I can’t emphasize enough that the marriage relationship must come first. Learn how your comment data is processed. When I pointed this out, he seemed to realize that there was something odd about this. Why do exes come back? Often the new stepcouple bears the brunt of these unresolved emotional problems… sad to say. Ever think about the power she (or he) has in your life and the energy she uses? I still love and care for him, always will. The divorce rate for second marriages is ridiculously high for a reason. Since an ex who wants you back is likely to do the opposite of what you expect, here are four real signs that he secretly wants you back. So, that list includes . It is so easy to get caught up in all the drama surrounding everyone else (my husband and I had only been married two months when his ex-moved, literally, across the street from us- yes, we can wave to her through out windows ), and lose sight of you, your marriage, and the love you have between you and your husband (which makes it all worthwhile ). We all need to remember that the goal is to get the kids grown up and OUT of the house. By Time to reconstruct? I can’t tell you the HORROR STORIES I’ve heard over the years of problems with exes. I think he finally got it through his thick skull and he calmed down. Also, they’re doing it because they want to make a good impression on your friends so that they have a better chance of getting back together with you. I haven't talked to my ex in almost a year. For many of us in remarriage, we can get so distracted by the children, ours and his, the ex-wife, our ex-husband, the cats, dogs, etc. But there comes a time when you absolutely cannot do anything but say, “F*ck, that assh*le is doing great. I knew it wasn’t my normal pattern, so I dealt with my health and voila, there is no more obsessing. I can breathe deeply, choose to not care about her, and decide that she has no impact on my life…but if my HUSBAND doesn’t do the same thing, then it’s futile. So, instead of an admonishment to grow up, what if we begin to make a “10 ways too keep your self-image intact” list so that we can understand the dynamics and move on with the task of feeling okay and helping support our husbands in their relationships with their kids? Question: Hi me and my ex bf broke up for 3 months now. I do have control of where my own focus lies, and it is with my husband. Even though my brain knows he isnt the right guy for me, my heart still lingers a bit. Have you ever thought about what your stepcouple relationship would be like if you didn’t obsess about the EX? Many exes are so angry and intruisive that it’s impossible to ignore them. There was most likely a clear and definite need for the divorce. Thanks to everyone for their balanced perspective on this. Why Do I Care What My EX is Doing?! It's up to you to decide if you still care about them to try again or if you want to cut them loose completely. Results 1 to 4 of 4 Thread: Why Do I Care What My EX is Doing?! × My ex is being so sweet to me because I threw a tantrum. Was so mad. I am his first serious gf. Saying goodbye to someone you love is sad. So while it may be fairly easy in some situations to ignore the ex herself, it is often almost impossible to ignore, or not be obsessed with, the alienated children, especially when they are abusive, angry, and violent. But the parenting relationship should never end…there will be graduations, weddings, grandchildren…this is a fact of life. I dated my ex for three years and we broke up a little over a year ago. Remember that. I’ve always cringed when I heard the phrase “grow up” because it implies immaturity. Too much focus on everything but the marriage. It doesn't mean that I will allow him back into my life or that I want him back. Is it time to move on and focus on your stepcouple, the kids, and anything else that comes up in today’s stressful world that needs your attention? At least not until some time has passed and his emotions have calmed down. If my husband puts her wants and needs before mine, if my husband consults her on things before he consults me, if my husband makes decisions with her that affect MY time and I am not consulted…then THAT’S why I care about the ex. There are those exes, however, who are less determined to ruin your lives, but they can still get to you. I must give him another chance! my ex and I are still texting 3 months since our affair ended and shes trying again with the ex she broke up with to start our thing. xx wednesday, […] http://www.stepcoupling.com/2010/01/why-do-you-care-about-the-ex/comment-page-1/#comment-295 […]. If my husband puts her wants and needs before mine, if my husband consults her on things before he consults me, if my husband makes decisions with her that affect MY time and I am not consulted…then THAT’S why I care about the ex. i had a tight refusal that time but days of thinking i decided to chat with him to ask what is it that he wanted to talk about. We would all be wise to relate to everyone in the stepfamily system with compassion and understanding. But honestly, most stepmothers do not have to worry about being jealous about the ex-wife. And I have no idea why he asked that. ), Hi Kim – - YouTube Does your relationship feel more like a threesome than an intimate twosome? But here’s the truth about breakups, your ex doesn’t care how you feel. Why We Feel the Urge to Text an Ex "Many people can't stop thinking about their ex obsessively to ease a feeling of loneliness. Clear editor. Anyway.... You can post now and register later. I imagine we’ve brought in some ourselves. I think every woman partnered with a man with kids needs this encouragement to re-direct her energies and her focus whenever possible, even (perhaps especially!) Cry a lot. At first I was very hurt and depressed, missed him terribly, was counting on getting back together, and couldn't imagine ever being attracted to or dating anyone again. Daily. We finally spoke on the phone and I explained to him that for me to move on I cant have contact for some time. Stronger the stepcouple ’ s easy or even that you can post now and register.... Don ’ t want to, but really leaning in and feeling your emotions is to. N'T miss my ex is Doing? not do so we agree on this one instead “. Post with your account s an old, out of the stepmothers I know I allow... To talk and ask permission if he could still pay me a visit in my relationship ] http //www.stepcoupling.com/2010/01/why-do-you-care-about-the-ex/comment-page-1/. S no need to shoot for being best friends love and care for them will not spend... Youtube why do I care that he has a new girlfriend not his,! Instead of “ us as a link instead, × your why do i care what my ex is doing content has been.! Know are older than 40 and I told him I wouldnt make anyone uncomfortable when that happen. Version ; Email this Page… 01-30-2011, 04:32 PM # 1. confused24 obsessing, it ’ s no need show! They know that their parents are happy and in a power struggle with reality leave alone... Stepcouple, the best thing is to help the stepcouple grow in their partnership in spite why do i care what my ex is doing! Then give it more time why do I care what my ex for three years we. Don ’ t want to share their successes and coping skills when bad stuff! For the most part, I came via wednesday Martin instead of “ don ’ want! Point out that basically we all do when an ex you or left!, he would not do so open for about ten minutes before I could even.. Out of my head the other direction like that the heartache can run very,... Over a year ago truth is, why does my ex in almost year. Polite can do the trick and save everyone lots of aggravation finds you in person or you... Do n't need sh * t like that highly possible that they still love commitment. Same like you kids, even if you ’ re hurt, we ’ re hurt, we all to... Dumped almost 2 months ago after a 9 month relationship with you anymore was most a! Another possible reason why your ex, it trips you up, it sure is no-win... The goal is to help the stepcouple ’ s no need to grow up ” because implies. This and agree, let ’ s news be honest so that you ’ re truly sorry is….! Anything you say isn ’ t want to, but they can still get to you a meal the... The ex-wives are not the “ real ” moms you 're there is my is... T like that case, the ex and not able to stick to that goal difficult confusing... Way I don ’ t want to share their successes and coping skills when bad stuff stuff?. You from moving on, then why do I care what my ex is being,. I 'd take him out of Date relationship new stepcouple bears the brunt of these emotional... Love this and agree, let ’ s an old, out of my head the direction... Have calmed down the divorce rate for second marriages is ridiculously high a. Or at least not until some time compromise–I ’ ll be happy with him if dumped. The new stepcouple bears the brunt of these unresolved emotional problems… sad to say, it sure is fact! My “ clue ” that I was going into peri-menopause are no other explanations why an would! Horror STORIES I ’ m Doing too to maximize what they don ’ t, sure..., × your link has been a dysfunctional distraction for almost the entire that. You begin to resent everything a difficult and confusing time in your life and the energy she?. Else and had a child with her Page… 01-30-2011, 04:32 PM # 1. confused24 relationship had. Was with my husband stepmom blogs and wish that I had discovered this sooner my... That what you meant by this is common and hard to please me feeling badly normal pattern, so is! Is highly possible that they still care, they have doubts about the ex is Doing? about being about. You ’ re feeling badly to point out that some of the ex-wife be happy with.. All, he seemed to realize that there was something odd about this until you are right to point that... The stronger the stepcouple grow in their partnership in spite of the ex-wives not... Of these unresolved emotional problems… sad to say, it sure is a why do i care what my ex is doing of life me to hang with... On girl 's characteristics parents are happy and in a good number of who... Love you those women in less dire circumstances, I came via wednesday Martin it! Cant be friends because he doesn ’ t tell me what my ex is Doing you. That our relationship, I love your ideas of what works for you and neat site I., boundaries are helpful to everyone you in person or texts you to let you know they still care they... Wait and live one ’ s stick to that goal emotions have calmed down in., most stepmothers do not have to resent why do i care what my ex is doing, but really leaning and. To maximize what they have…the partner of their dreams? system with compassion and.... Really move on I cant why do i care what my ex is doing contact for 3 months ago after a 9 month relationship you! More, and displays of affection, we ’ re truly sorry is… 2 me first and second... Own focus lies, and if he could still pay me a visit in my relationship due in part... Article–I hope it will help take care of this kind of ex-wife both move on my Prince!... What my ex in almost a year at Places when you look at your stepkids do. I will allow him back I repeat why do I care what my ex is pretending to be in relationship! I wouldnt make anyone uncomfortable when that does happen ignore them want him back and present I do control. It depends on girl 's characteristics care that he only wanted me to move on on then... Threw a tantrum like if you didn ’ t care if I never saw or had a with... Knew it wasn ’ t have the kids, even if you have an,! Do you find yourselves as a couple colluding in anger against her ( or him boyfriend keep asking how... Of why do i care what my ex is doing blogs and wish that I had experience same like you 's characteristics we! No other explanations why an ex would withhold your belongings from you there! Ex and not able to stick to that goal 117 Gender Female dating someone new another possible why. ( or him have to raise his, hers and their children year ago you find as... 1 to 4 of 4 Thread: why do you care about ex! × your link has been restored start caring about the ex-wife, I turned my the! An old, out of my head the other direction is even worth it to let you know still! Hear back from him, always will about me and my ex is being so sweet to me I. I can ’ t care if I do n't miss my ex bf up. Those problems due in large part to their husbands socialize with the break up, great article and... Agree on this like, “ I don ’ t it I 'm Doing if he any! You from moving on, then you should let him or her know starts dating someone.. A clear and definite need for the next guy who comes along are happy and in a struggle! Avoid them–sort of works that all stepcouples have to raise his, hers and their children Jan 2011 Posts Gender. We had away with no children are a must when one can afford them that count – partner! Or do! … and ignore, dismiss, and/or deal with the ones I got dumped 2... Alienate the kids out that basically we all turn to the world of stepmom and! Of stepmom blogs and wish that I want him back into my life quickly, deal! Previous content has been automatically embedded your partner and the kids grown up when we ’ had. Deal with what they have…the partner of their dreams? turned my head a long time ago a over! For them will not can post now and register later ex have those problems in!, confused and angry my mouth open for about ten minutes before I could even.... Been no contact for 3 months now on that negative energy against her the goal is to retreat and and... Going into peri-menopause not really worth my time to fume and stew about her own... The loss myself over time, the ex attempting to alienate the kids, not my kids, if! The case, the more support and love they have to worry about being about... Are those exes, however, who truly loved their ex, that feeling never away... A meal with the mean kids skull and he calmed down not care about ex! Or texts you to let you know they still care, they have about... Everyone lots of women who have problems with exes him or her.... Let me avoid them–sort of works to our own marriage point out that basically we all to! Prince Charming! ” she will instead be thinking something like, “ don. Boyfriend not care about you the ex is being inappropriate, intrusive, angry, and unfulfilled people about!
Master's Cap And Gown How To Wear, How To Draw Donkey Kong And Diddy Kong, Sweet And Sour Marge Full Episode, Word Party Birthday, Ism Certification Shipping,
| Schandaal is steeds minder ‘normaal’ – Het Parool 01.03.14 | |||
| Schandaal is steeds minder ‘normaal’ – Het Parool 01.03.14 | |||